Now, this is a tale of how the way in which I live my life was utterly turned upon its ear, so I would like to fain request a moment of your time, please stay put in your seat, and I will recount the tale of
how I was elected as the Prince of Bell Aire. In the settlement of Philadelphia, I was born. Playing hoop and stick is how I would pass the time as a child. I was relaxing peacefully, presenting myself as an upright gentleman, when quite to my dismay a band of ruffians began to wreak havoc upon my humble neighborhood. I was engaged in one small dual with these chaps and my mother was filled with fear, and henceforth decreed that I was to take new residence with my Aunt and Uncle in settlement of Bell Aire. I arranged for a carriage and as it arrived I noted the horses were branded with the word “FRESH” and a pair of playing dice were strung up over the mirror. If I could make any further comments, I would remark that the carriage had a foul stench. However, I chose to ignore it and exclaimed “Sally forth to Bell Aire!” I arrived at the home of my relatives between the hours of seven and eight o’clock and said to the carriage drive “I shall smell your stench at a later date, my good man.” I surveyed my glorious kingdom, for I had finally arrived, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bell Aire.